Finding Your Way-looking ahead to 2012

2011 was one for the books. I started a job that I ended up being miserable at, turned 25, celebrated my first wedding anniversary, changed my mind several times about a career (the norm for me), took my first road trip with the girls, my first vacation as a married woman, visiting new cities, .

I keep saying that I don’t like my twenties, and how I can’t wait to be 30, for several reasons, but there’s something to be said about finding your way (and not skipping ahead like many of us want to do).

There’s plenty of growing pains involved in your twenties. If you’re married, most likely, you’re still growing as a person and you’re growing in your marriage, so the double whammy can be quite a bit to handle sometimes. It’s why many advocate for marriage in your thirties, but I say it’s no easier in your thirties-you have established habits and selfishness that might be harder to break. There’s an upside to both sides of the argument.

If you’re single, you’re probably frustrated with the dating scene, maybe ready to settle down, maybe not. Trying to find someone who wants the same things out of life as you is no walk in the park and the growing pains involved in a romantic relationship can be intense at times.

Career wise, you’re trying to find the right fit. You could have my problem-going to school for a generalist-type degree and ending up being overwhelmed with choices because you have so many interests and yet the job market sucks. Or you could have the problem several of my friends have-they went to school for a specialized degree and want to switch to an entirely unrelated specialty. There’s a catch 22 to both.

Relationships go through growing pains too. Not just romantic relationships, but ones with family, friends as well. I’m learning how to relate to my parents as an adult, as well as my siblings as an adult as well. Another dimension is added when I throw in relating to my siblings whom are older than me and didn’t grow up with me, as well as cousins, aunts, uncles and in laws. I’m learning to be proactive and reach out to them more-this is a work in progress.

I’m also finding I appreciate my true friends a heck of a lot more. We’ve laughed together, cried together, prayed for each other, and the friends I always wanted growing up, I finally have.

The one thing I’m realizing as I head into another new year, shortly thereafter celebrating my 26th birthday, is that for the first time in about 3 years, I’m looking forward to another year in my twenties. Those ideal years in your 30s (or maybe it’s just idealism at best) are made from the growing pains of finding your way in your twenties.

Maybe you have an evolving faith. Complicated relationships. Not so perfect, far from ideal career. Maybe you’re not where you thought you would be at this point in your life.

Use your creativity to look at things differently. Life isn’t always fair, nor is it the way we think it’ll turn out. Look at life as one big giant adventure. Enjoy life’s little (and big) surprises. Embrace uncertainty and struggle. Explore the possibilities, even in chaos.

You can only appreciate the good times if you’ve been through the bad. If you haven’t been through the bad, you tend to take the good for granted, and before you know it, it’s gone.

So as the new year approaches, realize that finding your way is part of the process. Finding your way in 2012 and beyond will involve lots of patience, dedication, hard work, more patience, more hard work, putting up with crappy situations (within reason of course) but also there will be times of fun, bliss, and things that will make it all worth it.

I can’t even say here’s to hoping you find your way. Here’s to knowing you will.